When our dream comes true, the real work begins. What is involved in “living the dream”? What does it feel like, look like, taste like, smell like really, living in your own skin? The question: “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” is probably one every Dreamer comes across sooner or later.
Let’s start from the beginning: The Dream
When dreams are spoken of, what always comes first to my mind is love. When I was twelve, the summer before going to Secondary School, I found a book called “The Bridge Across Forever” in my small rural Elementary School library. Small dust angels were dancing in sunlight, as I flipped through the pages that seemed to have a life of their own. The blue covered book was written by Richard Bach, who was looking for his Soulmate and found her. Reading this true story filled me with wild hope and a piercing longing. Could there be someone in the world who were also thinking about soul, reincarnation, fairies, life magic (Remember, this was a small Finnish village in the 90’s). I made a solemn promise to find my soulmate.
The Dream comes true
Fast forward seven years, Autumn. A motorcycle man asked me for a ride on his sky blue motorbike and I realized I was in love with this bearded friend of mine, whom I had met years ago. We started talking on the phone every night and it was so lovely talking to him, I found myself falling asleep to his voice, only waking when the phone was awkwardly pressed against my cheek and his voice was calling out “Marieeee, Marieeee, did you fall asleep Sweetie?”.
But love was other things also.
The rimy, glacial fear of hurting him. That we wouldn’t work out. Astringent fights, when we were staggering toward each other, feuding our way through the communication thickets of our childhoods back toward each other, toward love. We still laugh tenderly sometimes, remembering all the tissue paper that was spent during these arguments of our early days together. And then the sharing of everyday life. Eating pea soup and sleeping next to each other. Morning face. Stomach flu.
The work of shattering illusions
That first year, I felt like every scene from every love movie I had ever seen was taken apart. When he confessed that he didn’t like romantic walks in the woods. Or anywhere. He felt uncomfortable in cafés. Restless watching movies together. When we went out for candle light dinners, we couldn’t wait to get back home. I couldn’t bare to hear one more technical apparatus analyzed and explained down to its smallest parts and functions even one. more. time. And when I got hurt by something he said, although I knew by now, he never tried to intentionally hurt me, I just couldn’t release my body from its fetus position cast in iron.
My thirty square-meter aparment became a battle field where love fought fear every day. Again and again. Ad infinitum. Love wasn’t burning lava, Romeo and Juliet, but it was the Bluest Sky. And I had to learn to open up and let down my defenses. I needed to learn to trust a man and allow love to enter my life. With no guarantees of success.
My Dream demanded that I trust in myself and my love. That I accept both as they are, as well as myself. These days, I believe all dreams are imperfect and eccentric, just like we ourselves. They are our dreams, because they are a magical mixture of the good and bad that we can live with, that we need to grow.
We need the grit and screech in our dreams, the hard parts. They are what keep us turning back to Source, back to our soft hearts, back to each other.
The breaking down of illusions can be painful work. If you’re at a place in your creative dreams, where you need support, consider joining me for an Open Art Studio day at my studio in Helsinki. Send me an e-mail at email@example.com , if you’re interested in that. If the heart of this painting speaks to yours, it is available here, or you can order prints from here.
To buy a work of art is an intimate project. The artwork will enter your home or workspace, and it is essential that the painting meets you on a heartlevel. If you are looking for art that speaks to you and feel called, we can set up a meeting by Skype, or at my studio in Helsinki, Finland. The essence of the encounter is to explore what kind of art would serve you the best right now. Our meeting is completely complimentary and is an inspiring event in itself, designed to support your creative dreams. Let’s set it up by e-mail at: firstname.lastname@example.org